Consistent

Hello all.

I am glad we could meet again. I missed you guys. However, I am still within my quota of one a week, and I have to say, this has been a great week.

I have discovered a few things about myself, some I will share with you, others I will steal for myself.

It has been very encouraging for me to find out, this week, that more people read this blog than I thought. I found out about one other person--the tally is now up to three people! And to those people, and those who I don't know about your presence on my blog, please, become a follower. Not in the sense of a cult, but it is encouraging for me to see that people actually read this.

Actually, most interesting thing of the week--I just had a girl add me on facebook because she thought I was the guitarist from Paramore. No lie. She is in Arkansas, and she attends a school of the blind. She speaks Spanish! It was cool. I told her I wasn't the guitarist, but we talked on the chat in Spanish.

*one week later*

Man, I can't believe I let this one go so long. My bad guys.

The greatest epiphony just happened to me. I can't believe how simple it is, and yet at the same time, how long it took for me to get this in my head.

John 1:5 says this, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!?!?!

It is still blowing my mind, I am not even kidding. This passage talks about how the Word is Jesus, and Jesus is the word (makes you understand why he could quote scripture so well). It is saying that the word is light, and the light can never be extinguished by the darkness!

I have read the first chapter of John probably 15-20 times, and this finally makes sense, to the fullness of its magnitude! I can't believe how blind I have been. And another thing--

Pray for me. I am praying for God to give the embedded realization that, "If the Holy Spirit is truly in me, then I won't desire for anything else, ever." This is a quote from my good friend Phil, and I can't believe how amazing it is!

Think about it, if God has filled us with Him, then there is no room for anything else.

Man, this is mind blowing. I am going to go pray and read my Bible for a bit. I hope you all have a merry Christmas, and try not to get all caught up in the commercialism. Christmas is about Christ, but it is also a time for us to just be with each other and love each other.

Happy Christmas,

Josh

The Illusive Story

Hello.

Well, I wasn't lying. Here it is. I published it all up so I can now put it up on the internet. If you like it or have a typo, let me know. And just so you know, I had to type this whole thing out because the html scripting kept coming up as incorrect. Your welcome.

Thanks,
Josh

The sound of the city fills their small apartment. It is only a two-bedroom hovel on the seventh floor of an east-side complex. Each siren or shot from the street was a sledge hammer to the walls, which were paper thin.
One night, the fire company had gone by the complex and the walls shook so violently that their wedding pictures fell to the floor.
The shouting never seemed to stop, from the outside or the inside. Due to the walls being no more that 2 inches thick, each neighbor's fight could be heard throughout the building. In fact, the Grankowski's were having such an argument a knife came flying through their wall just now.
This made her cry, not because she would have to ask her husband to fix the hole in the wall, but because of the utter depression this caused her. Her husband was out working, and he wouldn't be home for a while, which meant that she had to sit there and stare at the knife protruding through her wall.
The more she thinks about their home, if you could call it that, the worse she feels. Wasn't marriage supposed to be happier than this? Her husband works 6 days a week to get them by, and she was pregnant--very pregnant. He not only slaved all week for her, but for their baby, which would be living here as well.
This returns the tears.
He promised her, when he proposed, that they would never have much money due to his line of work, bu she agreed to that. She loved him more than the thought of a comfortable life, but at times she questions if she knew what she was getting into.
He is an honest man, who loves God and his work, and more importantly--he loves her. He loves her with a fire, and he always makes sure she knows it. Not a day goes by without little love notes littered around the house, or a poem. At least once a day he calls the house from work, just to talk--and to tell her that he loves her.
A door creaked; she didn't look up, you could hear everyone's door open--to her surprise, a set of arms wrapped around her huge stomach
She jumps!
He laughs.
She turns to see him with some dirt on his face and a chill on his nose, but his smile--that is always what mesmerizes her. He whispers his words of love and she melts in his arms, like always.
"I have a treat for you, my dear," he says softly into her ear.
"Oh really, please do tell," her words are shaped by the broadening smile on her face.
Quickly he pulls a thermos from his bag, and poured two cups of coffee. It was brewed just the way she loves it--the way that he makes it. Following the coffee he pulls a container of Oreo's out of his bag of goodies. Then, a lantern.
"Where did you get the lantern?" puzzled, she doesn't even try to ask it, it just comes out.
"Well, I bought it with some money I have squirreled away. I have always wanted to have conversations with you by our fire place--" her laughing cuts him off. His smile broadens and he continued, "So, here is our fire place!"
She laughs, more than she had in a while. If it was one thing he always seems to bve able to cure, it was her sorrow. Quickly, her laughter turns to tears.
"Dear, what is wrong? Don't you like the new addition to our palace?" he asked, knowing that he could get her to smile.
"No, I love it. You always make this work," she said this as she slumps onto his shoulder and moves into keen snuggling position.
"I can't give you much, but you always have my love, "he whispers as he kisses her head.
As the sirens drone and the people shout, the husband and his wife settle down in each other's arms. They forgot the sorrows that surround them as they were both lost in the palace they created.

Morning Devotions

Hello all!

Again, I apologize for the last post. It was, indeed, a time of intense sadness. I should have known it, but God supplied me with just as intense of a dose of his love. And the love of others (you know who you guys are), so I am feeling much better.

Well, instead of morning devotions, I figured I would devote this time to thanking God for the simple things I have. I am listening to "Lucky" by Jason Mraz, you be the judge if it has any bearing on my post.

I will start off with the simple things I just notice, then continue up till the bigger things.

I am grateful for sight, smell, and hearing. Without which this world would be terribly drab.
I am grateful for French Roast. You make my mornings better everyday.
I am grateful to Jason Mraz, your music is so amazing.
I am grateful for Ramen Noodles (particularly the beef variety) for being a quick meal that fills my stomach.
I am grateful to Walmart for supplying the cup I drink from (it is a Walmart safety mug. All the time I worked there and this is all I have to show of it).
I am grateful to scat vocals, started by Ella Fitzgerald and continued by Jason Mraz.
I am grateful for music. God knew what he was doing.
I am grateful for the effect that coffee has on the body; the atmosphere it brings is just too wonderful to describe.
I am grateful for snow. It is snowing where I live, and it is magical.
I am grateful to food. Not only does it provide nourishment, it is a great conduit of amazing conversation with people!
I am grateful for boots, you will make today less miserable.
I am grateful for friends. Not only do they make life endurable, but they also make it a fun time. They are always there, and for that I am also grateful.
I am grateful for love. You make life so difficult sometimes, and at the same time you are what life is worth living for. Trust me, as much as sometimes I don't feel it, I know I am loved, and it is the best feeling ever!
I am grateful to God, for life, love, and everything! Without Him the prior list wouldn't be possible.

If you didn't notice, I am just grateful today. It is nice. I am know God is doing some amazing things with me, in me and through me. I will let you guys know about them later.

Story still in the editing process, I have to get it done soon, so don't worry.

Much love,
Josh

Beyond morose, something much deeper

Hello all,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. It is something that I am still developing, I would love to get to a point where I am posting at least once a week, if not twice a week. But all in due time I suppose.

Things have been such a roller coaster for me, I can't quite describe it. I could, and I will get into it somewhat, but there are only so many things that one can reveal to the internet when some stuff you haven't told others. And as I have a link to this blog on my Facebook, and I don't tell most of my friends anything on there, I figure I will keep aloof, and just stick to generalities.

Like a good percentage of youth these days, I have zero self-esteem. It goes beyond not thinking you can step up to a plate and hit a ball, or even getting up on stage to play or lead worship. It is deeper than that.

I have utter confidence in myself to perform on stage, I am not the best musician in the world, but God has blessed me with ability, and I know what I can do. But the real question is what am I worth.

I have zero self-worth. It sounds very emo of me to say I have no self-worth, but I won't lie to you guys. And besides I can't be emo, I wore corduroys with a sweater, dress shirt and tie; if anything--I scare emos!

But I just have zero worth in myself, so it makes things interesting. I am not suicidal or anything, so you don't have to call 1-800-SUICIDE and report me, I am not going to kill myself, enjoy life. It is just when it comes to me, I take a back seat.

In the most extreme of circumstances. I know that God loves me, and if it wasn't for that I don't know what I would do. He is the only pull of strength I have, ever. But sometimes, you want someone here on earth you can have that with too.

It isn't a sin. I recognize God as my absolute source of strength, but at the same time, it would be nice to have someone here on this planet that you can be completely and unabashedly raw with. You know, someone that you can come to, and in your weakest of moments, know that they are there to support you.

How do you deal with the fear that you could attain that, but you are just doing too poorly--not matching up-- to the standards required and you know that things are only going to get worse from here?

I wish I could shut that part of my brain down, I wish I could be numb to it. I would be perfectly content living my life alone and serving God as much as I can. Seriously, Donald Miller is a testament to why Paul said it would be easier to be single.

You know, sometimes being called to do so much for God is hard, and I just want someone beside me for the race. I don't think that is a sin.

I just want to feel security in that area. I don't think that is such a hard thing to ask for...

Sorry guys, I know it isn't my cheeriest of posts, but I just write what I feel.

Soon I am going to post a short story I wrote, if anyone does read this, let me know what you think.

Much Love,
Josh

Thinking over Breakfast

We have this awesome little restaurant, where I live, called Before and After Cafe. All of the locals just call it the B and A. I have to say, I will miss it when I go to college.

It isn't often that you find little places like this that serve breakfast all day long, and on top of that, do it cheaply. I just ordered 2 eggs (over medium), sour dough toast, bacon and home fries--for like $5.50. Coffee is cheap and free on the refills as well.

Today has been one of those crazy days, you know. The kind of day where you have to get up early, sing at 7 in the morning, skip breakfast, sit in an auto-body shop for 45 minutes, eat a cheap frozen dinner because you are starving, then go upstairs and do "school" for a while.

You know, those days.

The blessing in all of this is that my father gave me his MAC card (I am broke, always...) to go get some lunch. And for this, I am grateful. I feasted like a king, and enjoyed every minute of it.

I love looking around this facility and observing all the hidden quarks of it all. there are pipes sticking out of inappropriate places in the walls, only to be covered in paint to follow the trim, there is a T.V. in the corner with a regular flipping through the channels.

Truth be told, he is a regular at a lot of restaurants. My old place of employment, a little restaurant called Select, he comes in on Tuesday nights and gets a plate of spaghetti with grilled cheese (which isn't even on the menu). He is a great guy with some interesting piercings and little pieces of wood in his ears.

Holy crap! I just looked at the one dry-erase board in here.... B & A has a facebook page.

Awesome.

I wish I could write more, but I have to go to my job as an intern. Duty calls, as always.

For those of you who read this, if any body (I wonder how bloggers get readers... maybe I should advertise it on facebook or something...), please pray for me. I have to have a very difficult conversation that could end a friendship. Maybe I will write about it at some point.

Much love,
Josh

I just had too...

I am going to try and refrain from doing this all the time, but this was just too beautiful!

So, if you come to know me, which hopefully you all will, I love Boyce Avenue, plain and simple. And I love endorsing other bands (being in a band gives you a respect for acquiring avenues to play).

So, here is the second newest cover from these guys, I hope you like it, because it blew me away.

Josh

Train- Drops of Jupiter (on iTunes)

How do we treat each other?

Hello.

As oppose to making my first post about myself and an introduction, I am going to get right into it. Hopefully you will come to know me and about me through my writing and my ideas.

Speaking of which, I am going to talk about 1 Peter 3:8-12.

For those of you unfamiliar with this passage, which included me up until a bit ago, it is on how Christians are to treat each other. For those of us who claim to be Christians, I hope we can learn from this. For those of you who don't claim the title of Christian, I hope you can glean from this what Christians are supposed to be like.

Now, first off, I am going to type out what this passage says, that way you guys don't have to go to here or there to get your information. The text I am going to provide will come out of the NLT (New Living Translation), which I enjoy.

If you are nut about any of the other translations, please feel free to go to the prior links for your translation of this text.

1Peter 3:8-12

8) Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

9) Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. that is what God has called you to do, and he will Bless you for it.

10) For the Scriptures say, "If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep you tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.

11) Turn away from evil and do go. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

12) The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil."

Now that we have the text before us, I would ask that we take a minute to ponder it, and re-read it if you must. But, even if just for a second, honestly think about what this tells us to do.

... ... ...

My favorite thing about the Bible, is how black and white it is on certain issues. If you read through books such as Romans or Hebrews you will find that this is where theology comes from. This is the area in which all the different denominations come from and where all the theologians draw their material to write their books.

This passage however, is not that case.

Let's shine a little light on where the context of this passage lays. The whole of chapter three, in 1 Peter, is on mannerisms. It starts off talking about how wives should treat their husbands, and then it moves on to how husbands should treat their wives. This particular passage (8-12) is titled, at least it is titled this way in my Bible, it may be different depending on the Bible: All Christians.

So, plain and simple, we are to treat each other with love and to sympathize with each other. We are to be of one mind, and we are never to repay evil with evil, but with blessing.

First off, lets talk about "we are to be of one mind". Do we really think Paul, the author of 1 Peter, was really saying we are all to think the same way all the time? Hardly.

The phrase "be of" tells me that we are not to, as the church, be this hive-mind concept. Rather, we are to be of the same mind. The words "be of" do not imply that we all think the same, but that we all stem from the same general principles.

Think of it this way: the democratic party (just an example, I am neither a democrat or republican hater) is filled with many different minds. You have your conservative democrats, your liberals, your moderates, your extremists, as well as your apathetic democrats. But they all believe in the same general concepts that separate a democrat from a republican, correct?

The same is true for Christians. Walk into your church, and if you don't go to one, just find one and attend a church service (most churches hold an after-ten-o'clock service, which means you don't have to wake up too early ;]) and listen to the way people talk. It will be hard on a first-time visit, but hopefully you can catch what I am talking about.

People in a church are almost opposite of each other! You have your: Calvinist, Arminianists, fundamentalists, liberals, conservatives, young-earth creationists, old-earth creationists, et cetera. But what is the one thing they all have in common? They all proclaim Jesus as their personal savior.

Where is the problem though?

The problem lies when you get to they "treat each other with sympathy and love" part. Being in a church for a while has taught me one thing, Christians can be some of the most hurtful people sometimes.

That isn't to say this is all of Christians, please, don't get me wrong. Most Christians are the nicest people you will ever meet. But not all.

Sometimes people get this idea that if Jesus didn't say it, then it is a gray area, and you can do what you wish because you are saved. This stems into what I like to call, foul Christianity.

Even though Paul isn't Jesus, albeit he wrote most of the New Testament, his words strike true. When we as Christians stop focusing on Jesus and how much He gave up for us, we see a sickening trend develop, and Paul addresses it.

If you read all of 1 Peter (which I strongly recommend) you see that Paul focuses heavily on this idea that we are to love each other, and remove all foul talk from our mouth and rid ourselves of evil conversation.

Gossip hurts, no matter where you are, but especially in the church, where you are supposed to be allowed to be yourself without fear of reprimand.

Now there is a difference between being yourself and disobeying God. Sure, we are born sinners, but that doesn't justify sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The whole stem of gossip and separation stems out of verse the later part of verse 8. When we stop focusing on Jesus and loving others as well as purging ourselves of wicked conversation who are we left to love?

Ourselves.

The last sentence in verse 8 says we are to "be tenderhearted and keep a humble attitude." When we allow ourselves to fall into this trap of loving ourselves over others we tend to start holding hurtful conversations, or insulting people because we feel superior.

God makes it very clear that we are to love others and each other (referring to Christians), and says that he watches over those who do these things.

But what does he say about those who do evil, which include our mouths--he turns his face against them.

I am a firm believer that we should only be building each other up with our conversation, never tearing down, even if in joke. (Ephesians 4:29) And I find that the people who hurt me the worst in this world, are those who Christians.

To sum up, we are called to love each other and be tenderhearted, how can a heart that insults in any situation be considered tender?